Jeffrey the slightly rude individual

I've never been really into scary stuff, especially not since...that incident that I will never forget and that scared me for life.
I never thought that something so horrible could happen to me, but it did.
One day my friend and me decided do go shopping. I had no money, but i went with him anyway.
When I leaved home to go meet up with my friend I was alone in the house, so I had to lock the door. After closing and locking the front door I heard a strange sound coming from inside the house, it sounded like someone slammed the refrigerator closed and short after a burping sound came from the kitchen. I was freaked out of my skin and paralyzed with fear, but then I ignored it and started walking to meet my friend.
The whole Way to the bus stop where I was supposed to meet up with my friend I couldn't help to feel like someone was watching me. I was scared out of my skin and terrified, but then I ignored that and kept walking. When i saw my friend waiting for me at the bus stop I noticed that he didn't look like he use to. He looked depressed and down. Almost possessed. By the devil that is. THE DEVIL! 666 SATAN!!!. I had never seen him like that and it freaked me out. He had hyper-realistic  eyes and his hair was hyper-realistic. I was so scared that i pissed my pants, but then I decided do ignore it.
He didn't say much other than something that sounded like "I'm god!" I thought it was strange but I convinced myself that it was nothing. When the bus arrived I saw that it had the number 666 on it. I got so scared that i flew up in the air, but my friend didn't seem to notice anything so I decided it was nothing.
We went on the bus and after a while I noticed a man wearing a old jacket. The man was sitting in the far end in the back of the bus. His jacket was hyper-realistic. Suddenly he turned his head and stared right into my eyes. He was heavily disfigured and his face seemed to have been surgically twisted into a frozen dead smile. He then made a sound i could only assume was his voice saying "I will come after you" He then turned his head again and started looking out the window. I though this was a bit weird but i didn't care that much. However after a while, the bus stooped in front of the railroad tracks. I heard a mysterious sound that sounded sort of like "PING" "PING" "PING" and suddenly bars came down in front of the bus, blocking the road. And then... A giant hyper-realistic train came out'a nowhere and drove right in front of the bus. I was so horribly terrified that a large amount of brain-tissue exploded in my head and I was unconscious the rest of the way to the mall. Thankfully my friend was a sixth degree brain surgeon, so he fixed my brain.
When we arrived at the mall my friend went straight to Gamestop. He liked playing bootlegged games and hacked ROMs. He was looking at a used game that had a disturbing cover. It was a hyper-realistic picture of Mario. The game was called "666mario.exe.smile". My friend thought it was legit so he went to buy it. I walked in the back because the metal plate my friend had put into my head to keep me alive had flew of due to my fear of the game cartridge. All the hyper-realism had blown a huge hole in my skull. It was right there and then that I would meet my terrible, horrible, grim, terrifying, scary, depressing, insane faith. I saw the man from he bus. there was blood everywhere, hyper-realistic blood. He walked up to me, smiling. I only heard 4 words before i went do a deep sleep; You are a twat.
Until this day I still have no idea what killed me, but I'm almost sure that it was him. Only he could know for sure... Jeffery the slightly rude individual.
This all happen for real and is 100% legit, I swear!!!!!!!
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